Once again my suicidal In-Laws are taking Ethan for a weekend next week. I scripted his general care into his Toddler Times email. You get to read it. If you missed it, there is a Volume I HERE.
Dear Chris and Steve,
When operating a Toddler, it's great to have an informational manual guiding you along.
First off: His schedule is the same-ish. But here's a "Brief" Recap.
WAKE UP: Ethan wakes at between 8-9. He vacillates between being thrilled to be in his crib and being angry like a swarm of bees. The tone of your day will be decided between Bees or Happiness. Obviously, hope is for happy. Recovery is slightly possible with Breakfast. Change him and get him dressed in a gorgeous outfit. We want our son looking sharp at all times. He has quite a few talent scouts following his progress and they need to know that he is a sophisticated and advance toddler that maintains a spotless appearance when in public.
BREAKFAST- Ethan loves to eat waffles. He will generally eat two. Sometimes he will humor me and eat some oatmeal first. So, if you are in the mood to eat oatmeal yourself, feel free to offer it. Odds are slightly higher of getting the Powerball Jackpot than him eating a lot of oatmeal... but I know I tend to purchase a ticket from time to time. If you feel as though he hasn't had a lot (a lot = at least two waffles.) then feel free to throw some fruit at him. Not in the Italian tomato way. That's child abuse. And a waste of tomatoes. He drinks milk at breakfast in his sippy cup. I have nothing clever to say here, but assume I made some sort of cow reference and move along. Have a water/juice sippy available for his part time job of playing. (See next section.)
PLAYTIME- He likes to play. This is his primary job. (He loafs around while I do laundry, clean, change his pants... he's truly a drain on our resources.) Some of his favorite activities currently include putting poker chips in coffee cans (or wipes boxes, of which I'll include in your collection of toys, or his mouth, which we tend to discourage.) His latest feats include climbing on top of tables, sofas, and ceiling fans.) I've discouraged this very sternly, but his grinning face seems to contradict the impact I think I'm having. Feel free to advise with any strategies that may work for you. I'm currently looking into a straight-jacket lease. He also likes walking. So, anywhere you can walk (playgrounds, parking lots, malls, large abandoned fields, swamps) will be a win for him. He does like going to our local playground and climbing the structures and going down slides. Your guess is as good as mine as to what will amuse this toddler. Self deprecating humor liking falling down and/or hitting your head will always be successful.
PRENAPTIME SNACK: Once you've worn yourself out, it will be time for his pre-nap snack. Sippy cup of water with a splash of Apple Juice. Whatever sounds good for food is fine. (Our Mary Poppins bag of snacks include: Graham Cracker, Fruit Cups, Bananas, Goldfish, Hotdogs, cereal bars, cherrios, tatertots etc.) He will try most anything IF you eat it first. I'm sure this ritual dates back to the ancient times where the King had official testers for the food. Ethan will wait to see if you die, then eat the food. He's very sophisticated like that. I've given up all attempts to poison him (poison= any green veggie) long ago. Once he spends a half an hour or so putting off the inevitable nap, feel free to place him in his jail of horrors where he will lose consciousness. Often times, consciousness will be fleeting and it will sounds remarkably like a bunch of cats are being murdered in there. Don't worry... this, for the most part, is normal. Unless of course there are cats in there. I always suspected that you two were cat hoarders, but have yet to prove it.
NAPTIME lasts NEVERENOUGHTIME. Somewhere between 1-3 hours, usually about 4ish hours after he gets up. It tends to be around noon/1. He wakes up angry, typically. (See WAKE UP for strategies and explanations.) Start countdown clock to bed time. (NEVERCLOSEENOUGH.) There are no jokes for this section. Naptime is very serious. Make yourself a lunch, and when you sit down to it, Ethan will awaken. He's like a bear, smelling fear, food, and tired grandparents. ...Don't let him see you cry.
POSTNAP SNACK: Same bag of tricks as the PRENAP Snack. He's really at a 2 large meals a day routine. So the pre/post nap snacks are just that. His main meals are Breakfast and Dinner.
PLAYTIME: See PLAYTIME. Obviously. His post nap playtime is when he will reveal his interest in drawers (nothing new here.) He also will decide that he has not seen the view of your kitchen table from above. He will seek out and exploit any way to get to the proper vantage point. Throw pillows have been safety rated. I will undoubtedly forget his bubble wrap suit and helmet, I can't always be a perfect mom. Consider it a test. Return my son in one piece, or at least with casts on.
DINNER- Usually around 5/5:30. He eats anything really. He likes meat, noodles, chicken nuggets, fish sticks, potato, carrots, hot dogs, fruit, yogurt, apple sauce. He also has his last milk sippy cup.
PLAYTIME- Really? Do I have I have to spell it out? He likes to read books at this time too.
YO GABBA GABBA- at 6:30. He will dance. Watch out. He flails. (Give him an option of more water/juice or martinis.)
BATH/BED- 7 PM. Drink wine. Not with Ethan. After he goes to bed. (Or give it to Ethan, whatever. He will sleep like a dream.) He will want his rain CD playing and the monitor on the computer on. He's very demanding. I blame Jon.
Rinse and Repeat. Survival rate decreases daily from Typhoid Fever to the equivalent of Ebola.
Other Notes:
Swimming: Feel free to take him! I've packed his swim diaper. He just needs that under his swim trunks, and he's good to go. I'd recommend having him wear one of his water shirts (kinda nylon-y) as you can keep a better grasp on him. Since the pool isn't heated (Or is it?) he may get cold quickly. Please remember that the swim diaper CAN be washed, but can't be put in the dryer. (It will melt, like his hopes and dreams of being able to swim again.)
Tantrums: Yup. He has them. These usually occur when he's frustrated, or can't put off nap any longer. I tend to ignore him, or remind him to "ask" for help. I also video record them. I plan to use these in my future child-neglect trial, and/or play them for his prom date later on. At a minimum, I laugh at his tantrums, as he is the most pathetic kid EVER. I will be awaiting your "Mom of the Year" award. Make it out to Cash.
Ethan's Age
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Welcome to Toddler Town, Population... you!
My lovely in-laws, for reasons still a mystery to me, offer to take Ethan for a weekend every couple of months. This is SO glorious to me, as it really is the only time I feel really "off duty." (Side note: Jon doesn't feel the same, he mopes about all weekend "bored.")
Every time these totally nutso people sign up for yet ANOTHER weekend, I write up a little informational email, similar to the State of the Union Address... to tell them what they are committing to. I also tend to email them close enough to the weekend that they can't read the email and back out in horror.
I thought I'd let you all see what I wrote this month.
Chris and Steve,
Hey guys! Just a quick email to refresh your thoughts about Ethan's routine.
He is about the same as last time, but with more food pickiness and attitude. And awesomeness. AND TODDLERNESSSSSS!
General routine:
Wakes around 9-10
Breakfast
Snack
Nap 3/3.5 hours after waking
Lunch/Snack
Dinner around 530.
Yo Gabba Gabba
Bath
Bed around 7:30
Ethan is a riddle. He sometimes loves to eat certain foods, then hates them. So, your guess is as good as mine.
Our go-to's are:
-Breakfast: (Milk in a sippy cup) waffles, fruit, he SOMETIMES will eat oatmeal, but you have to lead with that. He'll eat like 5 bites then be done. He usually will eat 1-2 waffles though... so that's something at least.
-Snacks: (Juice/Water mix in a sippy cup) yogurt, crackers, goldfish, bread with jam, fruit, applesauce, hot dog, nutragrain bars, insert anything here. Again, he's random. HE LOVES GRAHAM CRACKERS. This is always a win.
-Dinner: (Milk in a sippy cup) Chicken nuggets, meatballs, fruit, yogurt, fish sticks, etc. If it's green, he won't eat it. Period. He will look at you in total and utter shock that you even suggested the idea.
- Bottle of left over milk/or juice with Yo Gabba Gabba.
He signs "all-done" with reckless abandon, and 9 times out of 10 he doesn't mean it. Reasons he might be signing all done on a pie chart:
- He's all done: 10 %
- He's all done with that food: 20 %
- His mouth is full: 30 %
- He's finished for 5 seconds while you put away the food and get another, but he really wanted that original food and is on the verge of freaking out because it's now put away and you are offering a lesser food in exchange: 30%
Try not to worry if he's gotten enough food. There have been days where I thought he was going to try out for survivor and was just practicing for the lack of food. He tends to average out. I offer him stuff until I get annoyed, or until I run out of options. (Or tupperware. OR SANITY.)
Lately his most enjoyable activities include
-putting objects where he can't get them, make you get it, then put them back to where he can't get them. This is really REALLY fun.
- Walks outside. Throw him in a jacket and go for a walk, he will be happy as a clam.
- playgrounds! (He loves the slides.) But this is a high impact, gotta be with him sort of thing.
- Generally playing with his toys.
- beach balls.
- smashing his fingers in drawers. This is a leisure activity for him, best enjoyed while you are making food or equally focused on a task that needs your attention.
- The sign "Help." This is no joke. He does it ALLLLL day long. I am working on him showing me "Show me what you need help with" and not assuming I know (though most of the time I do.)
- Hitting stuff with objects. You don't have a dog, so the biggest fear you might have is him hitting you with stuff. He doesn't tend to do that much.
- His stomach. He will walk around a lot, with his shirt up, patting his tummy. I'm leaning towards "it's interesting" but it could be a sign of future eating disorders. I'll keep an eye on it and report back.
-Eyeballs. He does have a fascination with eyeballs right now. He is ninja-like in his speed and stealth when it comes to poking your eyeball. Be aware. Thankfully we have two, right?
He's in actual shoes now! I'll pack a pair. These are the right size, but a bit harder to put on. I'm contemplating removing a few of his toes to ease the putting on of said shoes.
He also tends to be wet in the morning after getting up (because he drinks milk and a bottle near the end of the day.)... this isn't a problem with our bed situation, as I just change the sheets... but it would be with the pack and play. I'd advise a good wipe down of the pad, and then sticking it outside to dry and air out in the sun. If the sun is not answering your call for an appointment, I guess just airing it out under a covered area would work as a back up idea.
Hope that helps! Thanks again. I'll be hiding in Tahiti when the weekend is over..., I'll pack some extra diapers so you can get your affairs in order so you can take care of him full time.
~Julia
PS. This letter is going on the blog. It was one of my favorites to you guys thus far. Hope you don't mind. I will omit your address so other people don't drop their kids off with you too. You're welcome.
Every time these totally nutso people sign up for yet ANOTHER weekend, I write up a little informational email, similar to the State of the Union Address... to tell them what they are committing to. I also tend to email them close enough to the weekend that they can't read the email and back out in horror.
I thought I'd let you all see what I wrote this month.
Chris and Steve,
Hey guys! Just a quick email to refresh your thoughts about Ethan's routine.
He is about the same as last time, but with more food pickiness and attitude. And awesomeness. AND TODDLERNESSSSSS!
General routine:
Wakes around 9-10
Breakfast
Snack
Nap 3/3.5 hours after waking
Lunch/Snack
Dinner around 530.
Yo Gabba Gabba
Bath
Bed around 7:30
Ethan is a riddle. He sometimes loves to eat certain foods, then hates them. So, your guess is as good as mine.
Our go-to's are:
-Breakfast: (Milk in a sippy cup) waffles, fruit, he SOMETIMES will eat oatmeal, but you have to lead with that. He'll eat like 5 bites then be done. He usually will eat 1-2 waffles though... so that's something at least.
-Snacks: (Juice/Water mix in a sippy cup) yogurt, crackers, goldfish, bread with jam, fruit, applesauce, hot dog, nutragrain bars, insert anything here. Again, he's random. HE LOVES GRAHAM CRACKERS. This is always a win.
-Dinner: (Milk in a sippy cup) Chicken nuggets, meatballs, fruit, yogurt, fish sticks, etc. If it's green, he won't eat it. Period. He will look at you in total and utter shock that you even suggested the idea.
- Bottle of left over milk/or juice with Yo Gabba Gabba.
He signs "all-done" with reckless abandon, and 9 times out of 10 he doesn't mean it. Reasons he might be signing all done on a pie chart:
- He's all done: 10 %
- He's all done with that food: 20 %
- His mouth is full: 30 %
- He's finished for 5 seconds while you put away the food and get another, but he really wanted that original food and is on the verge of freaking out because it's now put away and you are offering a lesser food in exchange: 30%
Try not to worry if he's gotten enough food. There have been days where I thought he was going to try out for survivor and was just practicing for the lack of food. He tends to average out. I offer him stuff until I get annoyed, or until I run out of options. (Or tupperware. OR SANITY.)
Lately his most enjoyable activities include
-putting objects where he can't get them, make you get it, then put them back to where he can't get them. This is really REALLY fun.
- Walks outside. Throw him in a jacket and go for a walk, he will be happy as a clam.
- playgrounds! (He loves the slides.) But this is a high impact, gotta be with him sort of thing.
- Generally playing with his toys.
- beach balls.
- smashing his fingers in drawers. This is a leisure activity for him, best enjoyed while you are making food or equally focused on a task that needs your attention.
- The sign "Help." This is no joke. He does it ALLLLL day long. I am working on him showing me "Show me what you need help with" and not assuming I know (though most of the time I do.)
- Hitting stuff with objects. You don't have a dog, so the biggest fear you might have is him hitting you with stuff. He doesn't tend to do that much.
- His stomach. He will walk around a lot, with his shirt up, patting his tummy. I'm leaning towards "it's interesting" but it could be a sign of future eating disorders. I'll keep an eye on it and report back.
-Eyeballs. He does have a fascination with eyeballs right now. He is ninja-like in his speed and stealth when it comes to poking your eyeball. Be aware. Thankfully we have two, right?
He's in actual shoes now! I'll pack a pair. These are the right size, but a bit harder to put on. I'm contemplating removing a few of his toes to ease the putting on of said shoes.
He also tends to be wet in the morning after getting up (because he drinks milk and a bottle near the end of the day.)... this isn't a problem with our bed situation, as I just change the sheets... but it would be with the pack and play. I'd advise a good wipe down of the pad, and then sticking it outside to dry and air out in the sun. If the sun is not answering your call for an appointment, I guess just airing it out under a covered area would work as a back up idea.
Hope that helps! Thanks again. I'll be hiding in Tahiti when the weekend is over..., I'll pack some extra diapers so you can get your affairs in order so you can take care of him full time.
~Julia
PS. This letter is going on the blog. It was one of my favorites to you guys thus far. Hope you don't mind. I will omit your address so other people don't drop their kids off with you too. You're welcome.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Where the hell is the "Quilt" button?
Over the past few years, I've talked a good talk about how much I'd like to have a sewing machine.
"All the things I could do!!" I'd say, with my finger clicking all over Pinterest.
My mother has a sewing machine I've asked about a few times, wondering if she still used it. She replied that she does... though the crafting apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
I recently obtained a machine from a free site... and I looked at it, envisioning what I could do with it. (Still, to this day, I don't even know if it worked.)
My mother came by last week for lunch and to hang out with the little guy. She popped open the trunk of her car, and what did I see but a brand new, in-box sewing machine.
"All the things I could do!!" I'd say, with my finger clicking all over Pinterest.
My mother has a sewing machine I've asked about a few times, wondering if she still used it. She replied that she does... though the crafting apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
I recently obtained a machine from a free site... and I looked at it, envisioning what I could do with it. (Still, to this day, I don't even know if it worked.)
My mother came by last week for lunch and to hang out with the little guy. She popped open the trunk of her car, and what did I see but a brand new, in-box sewing machine.
I've been looking at it, a bit intimidated. I'm not Julia-Homemaker. I can't cook (though I can follow a recipe), I don't scrapbook... or whatever else you need a Cricut for... I don't know where to begin with this thing.
HELP ME. Where do I start here?
(***I've still not found the "make a shirt" button. They need to label this thing better.)
Thursday, March 21, 2013
CPR/1st Aid
A picture is usually worth a thousand words. This picture is worth 6.
Get CPR & First Aid Trained.
This face is the face my son made after he choked today.
We've all had the minor coughing on food issues... it's typical for us a couple times a day. (Especially when he's SUPER hungry.) Ethan loves to emulate his idol, the cookie monster and shovel every bit of food out on the tray into his mouth.
Today, my son was eating some lunch, a piece of chicken which I had cut into small pieces. He's never had issues with this food before. I always sit next to him while he eats, and just give him a couple pieces at a time.
Today, I was sitting with him, and he started to choke. Choking is a silent thing. The signs being leaning forward, maybe kicking, a quickly reddening face. But the biggest sign is the look of terror on his face, which was immediately mirrored on mine. Typically, I can lean him forward over his tray and pat his back and he's ok.
After doing that he still was not making any sounds (which is the indicator of a child not getting any air.) I threw off his tray onto the floor and put him stomach down, head towards the floor on my leg and did several back blows. These did not work either.
So I stood him up on his feet and did the full out Heimlich manuever on his tiny little body. Thankfully, the chicken dislodged and he began to breathe.
Working with children, I've done this a couple of times, but not on my own child. After a mom in my mom's group had a scary seizure incident with her son (leading to them having to do CPR) I printed off a CPR and Choking infographic which is posted on each floor. Though I didn't need it for this incident (muscle memory just kicked in) I was thankful to have it. My previous CPR/1st Aid classes (which I've taken probably a dozen times) were in my mind.
Please, if you've not taken a lifesaving course, look into what classes are offered through your local hospital or Red Cross. At the very least, please print off pictures on how to do CPR/Heimlich in the case of an emergency and make sure all caregivers know where that information is. You may have taken a class before, but it's a huge comfort to know that the information is there in case I panic or there is another caregiver in the home that day.
Before you get off the computer,
print off the information.
Here are some quick links to pictures and information!
Heimlich Manuever Infographic - Child
Heimlich Infographic- Infant
CPR Infographic
print off the information.
Here are some quick links to pictures and information!
Heimlich Manuever Infographic - Child
Heimlich Infographic- Infant
CPR Infographic
I was able to save my son's life today. This is a sentence I never hoped to have to write, but it's better than the alternative. I had the information to save him. Now, you do too.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
22 Thing Happy People Do Differently
I came across this article today, and it really spoke to me. I will be implementing some of these practices into my daily life.
By Chiara Fucarino
There are two types of people in the world: those who choose to be happy, and those who choose to be unhappy. Contrary to popular belief, happiness doesn’t come from fame, fortune, other people, or material possessions. Rather, it comes from within. The richest person in the world could be miserable while a homeless person could be right outside, walking around with a spring in every step. Happy people are happy because they make themselves happy. They maintain a positive outlook on life and remain at peace with themselves.
The question is: how do they do that?
It’s quite simple. Happy people have good habits that enhance their lives. They do things differently. Ask any happy person, and they will tell you that they …
1. Don’t hold grudges.
Happy people understand that it’s better to forgive and forget than to let their negative feelings crowd out their positive feelings. Holding a grudge has a lot of detrimental effects on your wellbeing, including increased depression, anxiety, and stress. Why let anyone who has wronged you have power over you? If you let go of all your grudges, you’ll gain a clear conscience and enough energy to enjoy the good things in life.
2. Treat everyone with kindness.
Did you know that it has been scientifically proven that being kind makes you happier? Every time you perform a selfless act, your brain produces serotonin, a hormone that eases tension and lifts your spirits. Not only that, but treating people with love, dignity, and respect also allows you to build stronger relationships.
3. See problems as challenges.
The word “problem” is never part of a happy person’s vocabulary. A problem is viewed as a drawback, a struggle, or an unstable situation while a challenge is viewed as something positive like an opportunity, a task, or a dare. Whenever you face an obstacle, try looking at it as a challenge.
4. Express gratitude for what they already have.
There’s a popular saying that goes something like this: “The happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.” You will have a deeper sense of contentment if you count your blessings instead of yearning for what you don’t have.
5. Dream big.
People who get into the habit of dreaming big are more likely to accomplish their goals than those who don’t. If you dare to dream big, your mind will put itself in a focused and positive state.
6. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Happy people ask themselves, “Will this problem matter a year from now?” They understand that life’s too short to get worked up over trivial situations. Letting things roll off your back will definitely put you at ease to enjoy the more important things in life.
7. Speak well of others.
Being nice feels better than being mean. As fun as gossiping is, it usually leaves you feeling guilty and resentful. Saying nice things about other people encourages you to think positive, non-judgmental thoughts.
8. Never make excuses.
Benjamin Franklin once said, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Happy people don’t make excuses or blame others for their own failures in life. Instead, they own up to their mistakes and, by doing so, they proactively try to change for the better.
9. Get absorbed into the present.
Happy people don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. They savor the present. They let themselves get immersed in whatever they’re doing at the moment. Stop and smell the roses.
10. Wake up at the same time every morning.
Have you noticed that a lot of successful people tend to be early risers? Waking up at the same time every morning stabilizes your circadian rhythm, increases productivity, and puts you in a calm and centered state.
11. Avoid social comparison.
Everyone works at his own pace, so why compare yourself to others? If you think you’re better than someone else, you gain an unhealthy sense of superiority. If you think someone else is better than you, you end up feeling bad about yourself. You’ll be happier if you focus on your own progress and praise others on theirs.
12. Choose friends wisely.
Misery loves company. That’s why it’s important to surround yourself with optimistic people who will encourage you to achieve your goals. The more positive energy you have around you, the better you will feel about yourself.
13. Never seek approval from others.
Happy people don’t care what others think of them. They follow their own hearts without letting naysayers discourage them. They understand that it’s impossible to please everyone. Listen to what people have to say, but never seek anyone’s approval but your own.
14. Take the time to listen.
Talk less; listen more. Listening keeps your mind open to others’ wisdoms and outlooks on the world. The more intensely you listen, the quieter your mind gets, and the more content you feel.
15. Nurture social relationships.
A lonely person is a miserable person. Happy people understand how important it is to have strong, healthy relationships. Always take the time to see and talk to your family, friends, or significant other.
16. Meditate.
Meditating silences your mind and helps you find inner peace. You don’t have to be a zen master to pull it off. Happy people know how to silence their minds anywhere and anytime they need to calm their nerves.
17. Eat well.
Junk food makes you sluggish, and it’s difficult to be happy when you’re in that kind of state. Everything you eat directly affects your body’s ability to produce hormones, which will dictate your moods, energy, and mental focus. Be sure to eat foods that will keep your mind and body in good shape.
18. Exercise.
Studies have shown that exercise raises happiness levels just as much as Zoloft does. Exercising also boosts your Self Improvement and gives you a higher sense of self-accomplishment.
19. Live minimally.
Happy people rarely keep clutter around the house because they know that extra belongings weigh them down and make them feel overwhelmed and stressed out. Some studies have concluded that Europeans are a lot happier than Americans are, which is interesting because they live in smaller homes, drive simpler cars, and own fewer items.
20. Tell the truth.
Lying stresses you out, corrodes your Self Improvement, and makes you unlikeable. The truth will set you free. Being honest improves your mental health and builds others’ trust in you. Always be truthful, and never apologize for it.
21. Establish personal control.
Happy people have the ability to choose their own destinies. They don’t let others tell them how they should live their lives. Being in complete control of one’s own life brings positive feelings and a great sense of self-worth.
22. Accept what cannot be changed.
Once you accept the fact that life is not fair, you’ll be more at peace with yourself. Instead of obsessing over how unfair life is, just focus on what you can control and change it for the better.
By Chiara Fucarino
There are two types of people in the world: those who choose to be happy, and those who choose to be unhappy. Contrary to popular belief, happiness doesn’t come from fame, fortune, other people, or material possessions. Rather, it comes from within. The richest person in the world could be miserable while a homeless person could be right outside, walking around with a spring in every step. Happy people are happy because they make themselves happy. They maintain a positive outlook on life and remain at peace with themselves.
The question is: how do they do that?
It’s quite simple. Happy people have good habits that enhance their lives. They do things differently. Ask any happy person, and they will tell you that they …
1. Don’t hold grudges.
Happy people understand that it’s better to forgive and forget than to let their negative feelings crowd out their positive feelings. Holding a grudge has a lot of detrimental effects on your wellbeing, including increased depression, anxiety, and stress. Why let anyone who has wronged you have power over you? If you let go of all your grudges, you’ll gain a clear conscience and enough energy to enjoy the good things in life.
2. Treat everyone with kindness.
Did you know that it has been scientifically proven that being kind makes you happier? Every time you perform a selfless act, your brain produces serotonin, a hormone that eases tension and lifts your spirits. Not only that, but treating people with love, dignity, and respect also allows you to build stronger relationships.
3. See problems as challenges.
The word “problem” is never part of a happy person’s vocabulary. A problem is viewed as a drawback, a struggle, or an unstable situation while a challenge is viewed as something positive like an opportunity, a task, or a dare. Whenever you face an obstacle, try looking at it as a challenge.
4. Express gratitude for what they already have.
There’s a popular saying that goes something like this: “The happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.” You will have a deeper sense of contentment if you count your blessings instead of yearning for what you don’t have.
5. Dream big.
People who get into the habit of dreaming big are more likely to accomplish their goals than those who don’t. If you dare to dream big, your mind will put itself in a focused and positive state.
6. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Happy people ask themselves, “Will this problem matter a year from now?” They understand that life’s too short to get worked up over trivial situations. Letting things roll off your back will definitely put you at ease to enjoy the more important things in life.
7. Speak well of others.
Being nice feels better than being mean. As fun as gossiping is, it usually leaves you feeling guilty and resentful. Saying nice things about other people encourages you to think positive, non-judgmental thoughts.
8. Never make excuses.
Benjamin Franklin once said, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Happy people don’t make excuses or blame others for their own failures in life. Instead, they own up to their mistakes and, by doing so, they proactively try to change for the better.
9. Get absorbed into the present.
Happy people don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. They savor the present. They let themselves get immersed in whatever they’re doing at the moment. Stop and smell the roses.
10. Wake up at the same time every morning.
Have you noticed that a lot of successful people tend to be early risers? Waking up at the same time every morning stabilizes your circadian rhythm, increases productivity, and puts you in a calm and centered state.
11. Avoid social comparison.
Everyone works at his own pace, so why compare yourself to others? If you think you’re better than someone else, you gain an unhealthy sense of superiority. If you think someone else is better than you, you end up feeling bad about yourself. You’ll be happier if you focus on your own progress and praise others on theirs.
12. Choose friends wisely.
Misery loves company. That’s why it’s important to surround yourself with optimistic people who will encourage you to achieve your goals. The more positive energy you have around you, the better you will feel about yourself.
13. Never seek approval from others.
Happy people don’t care what others think of them. They follow their own hearts without letting naysayers discourage them. They understand that it’s impossible to please everyone. Listen to what people have to say, but never seek anyone’s approval but your own.
14. Take the time to listen.
Talk less; listen more. Listening keeps your mind open to others’ wisdoms and outlooks on the world. The more intensely you listen, the quieter your mind gets, and the more content you feel.
15. Nurture social relationships.
A lonely person is a miserable person. Happy people understand how important it is to have strong, healthy relationships. Always take the time to see and talk to your family, friends, or significant other.
16. Meditate.
Meditating silences your mind and helps you find inner peace. You don’t have to be a zen master to pull it off. Happy people know how to silence their minds anywhere and anytime they need to calm their nerves.
17. Eat well.
Junk food makes you sluggish, and it’s difficult to be happy when you’re in that kind of state. Everything you eat directly affects your body’s ability to produce hormones, which will dictate your moods, energy, and mental focus. Be sure to eat foods that will keep your mind and body in good shape.
18. Exercise.
Studies have shown that exercise raises happiness levels just as much as Zoloft does. Exercising also boosts your Self Improvement and gives you a higher sense of self-accomplishment.
19. Live minimally.
Happy people rarely keep clutter around the house because they know that extra belongings weigh them down and make them feel overwhelmed and stressed out. Some studies have concluded that Europeans are a lot happier than Americans are, which is interesting because they live in smaller homes, drive simpler cars, and own fewer items.
20. Tell the truth.
Lying stresses you out, corrodes your Self Improvement, and makes you unlikeable. The truth will set you free. Being honest improves your mental health and builds others’ trust in you. Always be truthful, and never apologize for it.
21. Establish personal control.
Happy people have the ability to choose their own destinies. They don’t let others tell them how they should live their lives. Being in complete control of one’s own life brings positive feelings and a great sense of self-worth.
22. Accept what cannot be changed.
Once you accept the fact that life is not fair, you’ll be more at peace with yourself. Instead of obsessing over how unfair life is, just focus on what you can control and change it for the better.
My 24 Hour a Day Job
This morning, upon my daily peruse of the Huff Post Parenting Blog, I stumbled upon this article titled "The Retro Wife Opts Out."
It got me thinking about what brought me from my full time job to my current "more than full time job" at home. This quote sums it up:
This is not to say that staying home wasn't my first choice. It totally was. In fact, when my former employer refused to work with me on an ADA request due to a medication I couldn't take in my third trimester impacting the hours I was available to work, I was more than thrilled to take my leave early, rather than fight their decision (and win, as I would have.)
I worked in an internationally known non-profit, molding the young minds of children and managing a handful of programs. My resume, at 30, was impressive, and I could have continued up the ladder of non-profit management, though not through that organization. I worked in an unhealthy office, with gossip and backbiting being the norm. Why? It was an office FULL of women. They fit the stereotype of working women to a T. The pay for the long hours we worked (often 12 hour + days) was atrocious. The only thing that kept me there was the daily opportunity to work with children, and some awesome staff. (That was also the thing that kept me from leaving a toxic office environment.) The pay was atrocious, the environment toxic, the item on the resume impressive.
That being said, when we learned we were expecting, we started planning for my departure, and having an end date gave me so much peace. In that last trimester, I actually lost weight and gained a sense of self that I lost in my job.
Note: this is not a post about whether I think it's better to stay home or work for any parent. I realize that some people can't afford to have a parent stay home, and also that some prefer to be working. If it works for you and your family, that's fantastic!
One day, I might return to the work force (thankfully, my skills will always be applicable, and finding work when I chose to return won't be an issue) but for now, I am very happy being at home daily with my son. I've learned to stimulate my mind by keeping up with the news, reading and writing.
In the meantime, I can't think of any job or pay that could beat this.
It got me thinking about what brought me from my full time job to my current "more than full time job" at home. This quote sums it up:
"If you have lots of career-development opportunities, and you have a
real prospect of getting promoted, you feel that you are on track and
surging forward and have the respect of your colleagues and control over
your work, then you are much more likely to not be tempted to take time
off with that second child," says Hewlett. "You figure it out. If on
the other hand, you get passed over for a promotion, or it's made clear
to you that you are marginalized, or you are working all the time for no
appreciation, then your 2-year-old looks a lot more appealing."
This is not to say that staying home wasn't my first choice. It totally was. In fact, when my former employer refused to work with me on an ADA request due to a medication I couldn't take in my third trimester impacting the hours I was available to work, I was more than thrilled to take my leave early, rather than fight their decision (and win, as I would have.)
I worked in an internationally known non-profit, molding the young minds of children and managing a handful of programs. My resume, at 30, was impressive, and I could have continued up the ladder of non-profit management, though not through that organization. I worked in an unhealthy office, with gossip and backbiting being the norm. Why? It was an office FULL of women. They fit the stereotype of working women to a T. The pay for the long hours we worked (often 12 hour + days) was atrocious. The only thing that kept me there was the daily opportunity to work with children, and some awesome staff. (That was also the thing that kept me from leaving a toxic office environment.) The pay was atrocious, the environment toxic, the item on the resume impressive.
That being said, when we learned we were expecting, we started planning for my departure, and having an end date gave me so much peace. In that last trimester, I actually lost weight and gained a sense of self that I lost in my job.
Note: this is not a post about whether I think it's better to stay home or work for any parent. I realize that some people can't afford to have a parent stay home, and also that some prefer to be working. If it works for you and your family, that's fantastic!
One day, I might return to the work force (thankfully, my skills will always be applicable, and finding work when I chose to return won't be an issue) but for now, I am very happy being at home daily with my son. I've learned to stimulate my mind by keeping up with the news, reading and writing.
In the meantime, I can't think of any job or pay that could beat this.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
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